Mandy Doria, MS, LPC, assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, says therapy is not just for ironing out the bad wrinkles in relationships.
“Typically we see families and couples coming into therapy with conflicts, eager to unpack red flags and learn how to respond to unhealthy patterns,” Doria said. “While it’s important to address conflict, it’s also important to feel connected in a partnership, increasing our chances of resolving our differences.”
She points to a Gottman-based method therapists employ in strengthening clients’ relationships. “It’s six intentional hours per week, broken down by the minute. Spending six hours per week to come together as a couple can help us communicate and connect when life gets busy,” she said. “This is just 5% of your time awake if you sleep eight hours per night.”
Doria breaks down the six intentional hours per week that can lead to healthier relationships:
Bottom line: Life is imperfect, and a lot of times we can’t measure the amount of time we put into our relationship. Think about hitting all six areas, identify which needs more attention and celebrate what you’re already doing. Maximize on what’s working in your relationship and consider talking with your partner to decide how you might add some of these components to strengthen your connection and foundation to a better relationship.