As palliative care professionals, we regularly face complex situations, often accompanied by intense emotions. We support patients and their families, as they walk the most difficult journey of their lives. We give, and give, and give. It is emotionally demanding work. Sometimes, we engage in encounters that touch us in ways that we may not have anticipated, and these encounters can deliver poignant messages that we can apply to our own lives.
Tomorrow, I will pay my final respects to a patient in her early forties, who I have cared for over multiple hospitalizations this year. She had cancer. She grasped every day, every moment that she could of this life.....until death was close and suffering was intolerable. It was only then that she declared that she was ready. She declared that she was ready to meet Jesus. She leaves behind five children, a spouse and a large, loving extended family that supported her fiercely. When I return to work tomorrow, I will also learn if the patient in her mid-forties, on whom I was consulted, a dedicated healthcare professional herself, survived the weekend. She learned that she had cancer last month. Her family was keeping vigil at her bedside when I left for the weekend. My thoughts turn to the man in his twenties, who had severe complications from meningitis. After his brief but devastating illness, he died, leaving behind a young child, and his grieving mother. Then, I think if the veteran in his late 90s, who became a pastor after leaving the military. Amid his acute, and life-threatening illness, he told me that he was satisfied. He survived. He returned home with his family.
There is something about each of these encounters that resonates with me. Maybe it is the youth of the first three patients, a sense of lives cut short. Maybe it is the families they left behind. Maybe it is the dedication of the young healthcare professional. Maybe it is how the young man made me think of my own two sons. Maybe it is because it makes me consider my own mortality. Maybe it is because it provokes a heightened awareness of the uncertainties of this life and reveals the lack of control that we humans ultimately possess. Maybe it is the peace that this elderly man had in the face of what could have represented an end-of-life situation for him. It is likely all of this, and more.
As I write, I grieve with the loved ones of those lost, and pray God gives them the hope, strength, peace, and all else that they need to carry on, to live with their losses. Maybe someday, they all will be able to smile at the memories of their loved ones. I grieve, and I remember. I remember that we are guaranteed the present. Tomorrow is not promised. I remember that I should live each moment to its fullest, cherish my loved ones, make time to tell them I love them, take care of myself and be intentional about recharging from the meaningful, yet intense and demanding work that I do every day. After all, my cup needs to be continually refilled for me to continue to give from it.
As lifelong learners in healthcare professions, we often consider the clinical pearls that we take away from our patient encounters. Let us also remember this non-clinical pearl. Time is precious. Time is fleeting. Let us live our best lives, be our best selves, in every moment. We owe it to our loved ones, our families, our patients
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