Why are teenagers susceptible to online exploitation?
Teenagers are actively trying to figure out who they are as people, and part of figuring this out is trying on different identities to see what works and what doesn’t. This used to be something teenagers did in person with others. Now everything is digital, so there’s a risk of whether the interaction is real and genuine. Given the time our youth spend online starting at a young age, it’s important for parents to start these conversations early.
What’s the psychological impact of sextortion on a teenager?
As with anything, it will vary from individual to individual. Some teens who face this experience may use it as a call to arms or a call to fight because they know it’s wrong. Others may feel defeated and without hope, which can lead to self-harm and suicide.
What are you seeing as it relates to adolescent mental health?
The number one cause of death in Colorado for 10- to 24-year-olds is suicide. And we’re seeing an increased number of kids ages 6 to 10 who have presented to the emergency department for suicidal thinking and attempts. We’ve had children as young as 9 die by suicide in Colorado. Some of these situations can be the result of extortion and bullying online.
Humans develop the capacity to look beyond an immediate situation and see into the future as teens. It happens over time, so young people aren’t always able to grasp that with time, the situations they currently face will get better.
How can families be aware of what their children are experiencing?
Much of this comes down to the conversations families are having with their children about their lives online. Allowing kids privacy behind a closed door with a screen does not necessarily allow for the kind of open communication that’s needed these days. Ensuring there’s plenty of time spent connecting offline is important. One suggestion is having a family media plan in place that everyone in the family adheres to. This can be as simple as having conversations at dinner where there are no screens at the table.
How can a family develop a family media plan?
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has a customizable, online resource that allows families to choose a list of media priorities, such as balance, kindness and empathy, screen-free zones and privacy and safety. It includes practical tips to make the plan work and allows you to return to your plan as often as you’d like to make changes.
What’s something you wish parents understood about young people and their online activity?
That our young people probably know more than you do. Parents need to know how to put up privacy settings and limits and understand that kids may be able to get past those privacy settings and limits. Your conversations need to start at the age you hand a screen over to your child to use on their own. Keep asking them to show you what they are doing online. Let them educate you about their lives online.
What does the research say about screens and youth?
We used to recommend limiting your child’s screen time to “X numbers” per day. Today, that’s completely out the window. This is where a family media plan comes into place.
If you look at the research, we’re seeing children using online media in ways that are inappropriate for their age. For example, a 2023 study showed pre-teens are increasingly using TikTok, Snapchat and Discord, and these apps are geared towards teens and young adults, not preteens. And we know the Surgeon General came out post-COVID to warn us about increased screen time and access to information. But screens aren’t going anywhere. So there’s a need to focus our research on the potential benefits of kids engaging with screens, looking at how kids can actually thrive online, finding balance between positive times online. In May 2024, a study came out about how parental involvement of youth digital life is really important. Parents should be taking an active role and know what's going on so they can increase digital flourishing.
How do you talk to your kids about risky online behavior?
As a parent, you need to find the right balance. It’s a dance between sharing your concerns and risking them tuning you out. Be sure you’re having a conversation and not giving a lecture. Ask questions, then really listen. If you use an example – especially something as scary as sextortion – keep the conversation flowing with open-ended questions that get to the root of their opinions on the topics. Ask what they think about the negative consequences of sharing personal information. Empower them to know what steps to take to protect themselves. Highlight what’s positive about connecting with peers online and what could potentially be a pitfall, such as feeling pressured to do something that feels risky. And be sure they know that home is a safe place to talk, without judgment.
Encouraging a healthy lifestyle offline seems to be protective. What do you recommend?
A question I ask us all to consider is: How do we help people put down the screens so they can talk and be together?
Physical activity, especially outdoors in the sunshine, is great for families. It’s protective for anxiety and depression. Having dedicated time where there are no screens is important, as this helps you be in real-time, negotiating conversations, playing, and having fun together. It’s in conversation that we learn to deal with peer interactions, both positive and negative, and resolve conflict. These are all things we need to do to have strong mental health.
What red flags should parents watch for in terms of their teenager’s mental health?
It’s a balancing act. One of the developmental tasks of adolescence is to become an individual. So it’s a dance between allowing them to separate from the family and knowing when they may be experiencing worsening social withdrawal. It’s why open conversations about online activities are so important. Be sure to watch for declining grades, always looking sad or angry, and signs of self-injury or substance use. Changes in weight can also signal issues. It plays out on multiple levels. If you suspect your child’s mental health is declining, talk to your primary care provider.
How can healthcare providers help families?
Primary care providers and any healthcare provider involved with youth should consider taking a media history. It can also be helpful to include questions about family time and outdoor activity time. For tweens and teens, it’s important to ask questions such as, what social media sites do you use? Do you connect with friends? Have you arranged to meet an online friend offline and in person? Do you have your privacy settings turned on? Do you text and drive? Do your friends text and drive?
Any final words?
Things change quickly. It’s hard to stay on top of everything. It’s important to remember that we’re all in this together, so how do we help and support positive change? Screens are part of our lives now, and we have to be ready to change.
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