It's a troubling statistic: between July 2021 and December 2023, over one-third of teenagers experienced bullying. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) warns that bullying can have serious mental health consequences, including anxiety and depression. So, what can parents do to help? Kerry Peterson, PhD, DNP, PMHCNS-BC, PMHNP-BC, FAANP, director of the University of Colorado Anschutz College of Nursing’s Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner Program, shares insights on how parents can recognize the signs of bullying and take proactive steps to prevent it.
What is Bullying?
According to the CDC, bullying is unwanted (or aggressive) behavior by a young person or a group. Common types of bullying include:
- Physical: hitting, kicking, tripping
- Verbal: name-calling, teasing
- Relational/social: leaving someone out, spreading rumors
- Electronic/cyber: using social media to threaten or harass someone
Signs of Bullying
Oftentimes, kids may not say they’re being bullied because they might be scared that if they say something, things could get worse. That’s why Peterson says it’s critical parents (and siblings) keep an eye on their children and watch for any changes in their emotions or behavior.
“You might notice your child suddenly start to withdraw or say things like ‘I don’t want to go to school or this activity’,” Peterson says. “Other signs may include increased sadness or irritability, physical symptoms like having stomach aches [especially in younger children who may not have the vocabulary to explain what is happening], trouble sleeping, a drop in their academic performance, or if it’s physical bullying, you might see bruises or scratches.”
What Groups Have a Higher Risk of Bullying?
Peterson says that while bullying can happen at any age, it peaks in middle school. Bullying can occur when someone is perceived differently than their peers, so Peterson says someone with a developmental disability or someone who identifies as a sexual or gender minority often has a higher risk of bullying. Girls experience more verbal and social bullying, while boys might experience more physical bullying.
What Parents Should Do
Peterson says parents should listen to their child and never minimize the experience.
“It’s important to say that bullying is never okay and to allow their child to safely express how they’re feeling," she says. "Parents should also let their child know what happened to them isn’t their fault – and that bullying should never be acceptable."
Peterson says parents should consider getting professional help for their child if they notice their mental health is suffering, including having feelings of depression or anxiety.
“You know your child best. If you’re seeing big changes in their well-being, it’s important to get some additional support.”
Where to Get Help
There are several resources and supports for families, including taking children to see a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner.
“We’re excellent resources because if your child is really struggling, we can assess what’s going on. Sometimes children have become very depressed or have significant anxiety, so we can help with psychotherapy, building coping skills, or prescribe medication, if needed,” Peterson says.
Other mental health professionals, including those who work with children, are also good resources. Schools or a family’s primary care provider can offer suggestions about who to contact.
What If Your Child is The Bully or a Bystander?
It’s also important for parents to understand what to do if their child is the bully or a bystander seeing bullying happen.
“A lot of times, a bully probably doesn’t feel good about themselves, and they’re expressing it negatively by taking it out on others. They may not have a good home environment, so oftentimes these children need support, too,” Peterson says.
If a child sees bullying happening, Peterson says they should speak up by talking to a trusted adult (someone at school, a parent, a coach, etc.).
“We have to remember to teach our children to treat everyone with respect and kindness,” Peterson says. “It’s important to address bullying, but it needs to be done safely and respectfully to effectively manage the situation. It is also critical for adults to model healthy ways to handle stress, conflict, and emotions.”
